Just wanted everyone to hear the extraordinary stories of two orthopaedic patients that came in through the emergency room today.
The first was a thirty-something woman who is 27 weeks pregnant and an abuser of heroin. She had a hemiarthroplasty (half hip replacement) years ago because she broke her hip after she jumped out a third story window while being chased by cops. Over time, she developed an infection in that hip (probably from continually using dirty needles to inject heroin into her veins)...so when she was arrested by the cops last night (do you see a pattern here...?), she had to come to the hospital to be medically cleared before they could cart her off to prison. She might be the only patient who won't complain if there's a long wait in the ER.
The other patient is a ninety-something year old woman who fell at her nursing home 2 weeks ago and sustained a broken hip - she cannot consent for herself to have surgery because she's demented (thus explaining why she is arriving at the ER 2 weeks after suffering a fractured hip) No big deal, right? Her power-of-attorney can consent for her surgery. That wouldn't be a problem, but her power-of-attorney son, who is blind, is en route to Chicago from Canada by bus...and his cell phone number is disconnected.
I can't make this sh*t up!!!
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